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A Girl of a Fiery-tale

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Once upon a time,

A less skilled crafter built a wooden boat.

.

It was designed to provide,

A poor girl in her long journey after the fullmoon of that half year.

They said, her destiny must be fulfilled.

They said, she had been marked since child.

 .

The old town had no crafter, also had no desire to see further.

They asked an apprentice of twelve years old to craft that boat.

Under much pressure, he did.

 .

Fullmoon ended.

The poor little girl who has no family, no companion in life, set sailed.

Alone.

Under the mighty sky.

Toward unpredictable distance.

They said, “Go! The Lord of the sea, will soon fetch you up!”

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Her heart was quietly trembling.

Her hands turned white, and so did her face.

She looked pale, covered by fear.

The only good thought in her mind was knowing that this,

will free her people from suffer dozens years to come.

 .

They said, it’s her destiny.

It was her charity.

And her only purpose to be kept alive.

.

This little girl stepped into that small wooden boat.

They said the boat made of the finest wood,

Which would be stronger when got touched by water.

 .

This poor little girl had no other option,

but to believe.

To have faith to the people who had never charged her meals.

To the people who lent her a spot in their cattle cage to sleep.

To the people who fed her with a bowl of barren soup once a day, or once in a few days.

“I have to show my gratitude.”

And her departure had been decided.

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She trusted her destiny to the wind.

Anywhere, anyhow.

Had not ever thought any why.

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Three days and the giant stale bread had now been finished.

She was starving and griefing,

Was trembling and crying,

Frightened, heart wounded, barely able in sleeping.

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She escaped dark and daylight.

For three days in a row.

 .

In her fourth daya, she stared at the sky in a hopeless sight.

It was a rage of fire.

A huge storm fire.

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She had been told,

That this wooden boat would be stronger in water.

But she doubted,

That it would also be that strong,

To cross that storm.

 .

“It’s allright”, said her to her little trembling heart.

“We’ve been long enough living. It’s just another mile, before we finally escape all the hard feeling.”

“I know we’re trembling now. Just let it be. It supposed to be.”

“After the red rage, there will be plenty of serenity .”

“Last forever”,

“And all this pain will surely left behind”, she whispered.

.

The air become hotter.

Her dress started to burn out, inch by inch.

She snapped her tounge, and closed both mouth and eyes.

Not saying a word.

Not looking back a bit.

She sailed herself into that burning fire.

To be lost.

Forever.

The new moon climbed the sky on the following month.

A baby unicorn born in the garden of eden.

The wings was still weak, but finely growing.

 .

The eden people said,

“Look! The poor little girl they sent out to the fire storm has been reborn as a unicorn.”

Some other whispered, “I am sure, she could be a fine woman. Ah… If only she was born a human.”

 .

A wise man of eden joined the murmuring crowd and smile.

“She was the one who has chosen to be this one, been so tired of being a human girl asked to bear an angel’s heart.”

“She said…”, the wise man continued,

“I want to be a unicorn. Angel in another form.”

**

A Fiery Tale : Lost Ship in The Sky,

20.53 pm

Wed, 9th of Aug 2017.

Anadia Fatimah .

Sore yang Luntur Bersama Peri Musim Gugur

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Hai..

Siapapun kamu, hari cerah ceriakah di sana? Pun enggak juga nggak papa. Malah kalo nggak pernah mendung awannya, praktis kekeringan nanti tanahnya. Ya kan? Tuhan Yang Maha Sempurna itu selalu punya rencana yang sempurna. Acapkali, kitanya aja yang belum sampai nalar logikanya.

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Hai..

Masih inget dengan si Peri Musim Gugur?

Tokoh fiktif dalam skenario Rahasia-Rahasia, tulisan yang nangkring di blog ini milyaran menit yang silam. Hari ini, aku ketemu lagi sama dia.

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Kalo kemarin lalu nulisnya edisi agak melow-melow gitu, tertular khasnya si Peri Musim Gugur manakala irama hatinya lagi ngelantur, kali ini santai banget. Edisi ngobrol yang isinya tanya jawab. Penting nggak penting sih. Tapi ya lantaran saya ngerasanya belajar banyak dari dia (dan jadi bersyukur karenanya) berasa enak aja kalo pelajaran hidup ini dibagi-bagi. Serasa minum kopi-kopian di pinggir danau dipayungi pohon nan rindang. Emang ketemu dia sembari ngobrol sore ini. Alhamdulillah sih, sedhaif penglihatan saya, hatinya udah mulai menerima kenyataan sebagai pelajaran.

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Well,,, this is what it was. Dikira-kira aja ya, siapa yang lagi ngomong apa…

..

16.30 WIB, pinggir danau sebuah kampus tua

Kamu masih mikirin dia?

“Kalo kamu jatuh cinta sedemikian dalamnya, mencintainya hingga bertahun-tahun lamanya padahal nggak pake tatap muka, menurut kamu kira-kira jawabannya apa?”

Well… Aku tertohok. Agak bingung nanggepin apa. Memilih manggut-manggut menatap waktu yang jatuh dari penahan bulir-bulirnya.

 

“Jadi nggak enak nih suasananya, haha.” Dia ketawa.

Ah, enggak kok. Gimana ya.. Penasaran, tapi khawatir salah omongan. Sori ya kalo tadi nyinggung.

“Enggak kok. Santai aja. It is what it is, sekarang.”

Yah, well… Aku makin bengong. Kemarin dulu dia puitis banget pas patah hati. Hari ini praktis, dia logis banget. Sayanya? Dilematis.

 

16.48 WIB, waktu jam tangan saya

“Kadang kalo pas bikin drama di kepala sendiri, atau berwacana dengan pikiran sendiri, masih selalu ada orang itu di situ. Meski dia mungkin cuman jadi background. Ini tentang, aku yang butuh perlahan-lahan melepaskan.”

 

Iyalah. Wajar. Thoh yang baru kenal terus putusan juga sedihnya kadang nggak ketulungan. Gimana kamu yang cintanya mirip karya sastra lama sekaligus film drama romantis yang berakhir tragis pada saat yang sama.

 

Dia ketawa. Pelan banget ketawanya. Pikirannya, entah dimana.

 

Gimana sih rasanya, tahunan mencintai orang yang sama. Orang yang hampir nggak pernah kamu sapa. Nggak kamu lihat wajahnya. Dan literally nggak pernah kenalan formal sebelumnya.

 

“Mmm… Gimana ya. Cinta agak susah sih dibahasainnya. Anggep aja emang udah gitu skenarionya.”

Skenarionya?

“Iya. Skenario yang menghantar kita pada akhirnya untuk belajar dengan sebenar-benarnya.”

Nah lho, filosofisnya kambuh nih bocah…

 

Kamu nyesel nggak mencintai dia, untuk kemudian mesti terima kenyataan, kalo jalan harapan kita nggak sesuai kenyataan?

 

“Itu proses yang panjang ya, untuk akhirnya mengenali stand point hati sendiri. Sedih nggak sedih. Rela nggak rela. Ikhlas nggak ikhlas. Dan, nyesel nggak nyesel. Tapi sekarang, hari ini setelah dua bulan refleksi, rasa-rasanya aku sih insya Allah cukup yakin buat bilang, ‘nggak tuh. Aku nggak nyesel mencintai dia.”

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“Orang-orang bijak pernah bilang, yang kemudian disadur kembali oleh seniman beragam zaman. Katanya, kita sejatinya nggak jatuh cinta kecuali sama diri kita sendiri. Bahwa setiap hal di jagad semesta yang menarik hati kita hingga sesungguh-sungguhnya, tak lain adalah cerminan diri kita sendiri. Pencil yang pencar. Pencar yang pendar. Pendar yang entah bagaimana, mengembalikan kita tersadar.”

Mulai tertatih-tatih mengikuti arah pembicaraan.

 

“Aku nggak nyesel mencintai dia. Dia orang keren yang patut dicinta. Nggak cuman soal tampang, harta, atau kecerdasan semata. Karakternya, sikap santunnya, rasa tulus yang terpancar lewat matanya, banyak hal dari dia yang mengunggah kesadaranku hingga akhirnya aku belajar. Mengikuti langkah-langkahnya sadar atau tanpa sadar. Belajar. Dan bermetamorfosis jadi manusia yang lebih utuh, sekaligus lebih ‘aku’ rasanya. Pengalaman cinta adalah pengalaman yang membawaku mengenal sisi diriku yang dulu tak terpikir ada  di situ. Cinta melembutkan keberanian yang kasar. Menghadirkan rasa insaf yang seringkali absen saat belajar. Ini pengalaman besar. Mengantarku untuk hidup dengan lebih tegar. Menyesal? Nggak tuh. Aku beruntung dan sejujurnya, hingga titik tertentu aku bangga, aku jatuh cintanya sama orang kaya dia. Yang kuat, yang tinggi cita-citanya, yang sungguh-sungguh dalam upayanya. Yang inspiratif, yang berpikir dengan kekuatan pikir nan jernih. Yang empatik, yang percaya pada kata hatinya. Dia  bold tapi halus di saat yang sama. Dia tak terjelaskan namun sederhana di saat yang sama. Misterius tapi jernih. Aku bahagia, Tuhan memilih dia untuk kepadanya aku jatuh cinta.”

 

17.35 WIB, waktu jam tangan saya

Sekarang, rencana kamu apa?

“Belajar menerima, mensyukuri, dan menjalani hidup apa adanya. Seru sih jikalau benar takdir berjalan sesuai kita punya rencana. Tapi masa iya, rencanaku lebih sempurna dari rencana yang Tuhan sendiri arsiteknya? Doa sih doa. Berdoa supaya bisa hidup dalam damai. Semoga lelaki yang kucinta sungguh-sungguh berkah dalam bahagianya  bersama perempuan pilihan hatinya. Tentang aku? Aku sedang belajar percaya, Tuhan pasti punya rencana.”

 

Rahasia-Rahasia, adegan 1191 : Sesuatu di Sudut Matanya,

Sore hari yang sama, 26 Juli 2017

Anggun Nadia Fatimah

In The Room of Consultation

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Within the room of consultation I seek my refuge to you.

I asked your advice and nod to your prescription.

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It was white coloured one,

With a wooden table, and a pair of chair for those who are in the talk.

A well blooming pink flower stands in the corner,

Sends the accent of roses through the air that cover us talking.

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In the room of consultation I admit all my hesitations.

The doubtful feeling inside my chest,

Growing colder as time passes,

Make it harder for me to taste the fresh air.

.

In the room of consultation I tell you my secret.

The greatest one in which my spirit, my hope, and my sorrow so romanticly tangled.

I let out all the grievances of loosing the most wanted dream.

The hard feeling of seeing the people you love, off sailing.

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In the room of consultation I look for medicine.

To ease the pain within which I am struggling.

My restless heart aching,

Echoing the sound of it’s moaning.

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In the room of consultation I seek you.

Hoping you’ll show me the way to see the sun once again smiling,

That you’ll hand me hand to get a better breathing.

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To you I seek refuge.

To you I come anyway while silently crying.

Cause I’m sure,

Talking to you need no words arranging.

..

Looking for Your Benevolence,

13.31 pm

July 23rd, 2017

Anggun Nadia