In recent years I spend myself in position of goers. I go get study in around place we still called it Jakarta, while my parents stay in Lampung, my hometown. I really did not understand why they were always that much worried about me, whenever I was in Jakarta-Lampung or Lampung-Jakarta trip.
This kind of trip is just like usual trip. No need to worry I thought. You just go and arrive, but why were they so scared of then calling you several times in one night just to check how is the trip goes. Why did they send you lots of sms to know your latest position. Why and why my parents did so much while it’s no more than a usual trip. No need to worry.
Yesterday is my graduation day. My parents stayed for two nights in Bogor, my elder brother’s. They’ll go back to Lampung this afternoon, around twilight, 6-7 pm. And I just feels I hope I can be longer with them. See them, watch them. A feeling which resist to be separated longer than what it likely should. You get what I mean?
Every trip comes with it’s risks. From zero point till it’s very unwillingly happen. I just realize one thing, today I’m in position of those who are waiting for any good (or bad) phone calling. Today I am in position of those who be left. It’s not my first time of course, but as I said, I just realized another point of view that might comes in seeing what I always tell you as just ‘a usual trip’.
We have different feelings when we stand in different position. So long time. But how blessed I am, I know this now and not later. Not about the common saying. It’s about the exact feelings that can never be imagine. Feelings can not be touched by imagination if you never really-really fall for that feelings. You have to feel it first, then you can remember, you can recall, then you can predict another condition in which you’ll fall into that feeling again. Afterwards you can understand. And someforth you just simply understand without feel any necessary to think how could you come to this understanding.
This is me today. Standing as the leaft, finally knows some level of worrying are forgiven. It’s not a strange feelings. It builds on love and care for others. So that I have to pay more respect for this kind of feeling and for those who give me this kind of concern. Nice to have a family.
Rafflesia 2nd floor, room 20.
February 10th 2013
A day after my first degree graduation ceremony.